When you're setting boundaries for yourself and others, you'll notice that it can easily make others uncomfortable. In many ways, people have become used to resistance when it comes to offhanded comments or using others for their advantage. Like everything in Nature, boundaries are important to protect the species and are always sifting.

When you set necessary boundaries and enforce them, relationships shift. It makes the other person take responsibility for their behavior, which some people are not used to, making it uncomfortable. It can be scary and off-putting in their minds. Therefore, boundaries can appear aggressive at first. Have you ever been in bear country and come across a mama bear?

While you're being honest, it can appear defensive. Others can take our actions as a personal threat, that you're making them take personal responsibility for thinking about what they say and do before they do it. As uncomfortable as it may be for them, they have to get over it and learn how to act and treat people with respect.

We can all end up in the wrong place at the wrong time and say something out of line. By taking responsibility for your behavior it means that you can no longer do things mindlessly, and also forgive yourself if you have stepped into the wrong neck of the woods.

A healthy relationship-shift fosters lasting relationships. It's essential to take other people's feelings and desires into account. This is a pretty realistic expectation for someone to have, and it's not difficult if you decide to be kind and treat others with respect.

Being respectful is being responsible. Boundaries set to protect all parties are a responsible way to build trust. It's seldom that others have boundaries you would cross, but apologize and keep that in mind if you do.

Some boundaries also force you to take responsibility and act in a certain way that either benefits you and helps you succeed or helps others. For example, if you set boundaries for yourself for finances, you're holding yourself accountable for being responsible for the money you're spending and how you're spending it.

It can be uncomfortable for you to hold yourself responsible, but great satisfaction is achieved. Others might feel uncomfortable seeing you being responsible like this in the short term, but ultimately respect and learn from you taking personal responsibility. It's better in the long run for everyone when we are personally responsible for our actions.

By being more conscious and willing to think about what you're doing, everyone can communicate and interact with you more transparently and ethically. Those who refuse to adapt will be looked down upon, but everyone else will be happier with one another since this kind of open, positive behavior transfers from person to person. Shifting and adapting relationships at any age, anytime, anywhere makes for sustainable relationships.

What do your boundaries look like? I use pillows for my boundaries as they are soft, light, and easy to move, and I can change the colors and sizes. If necessary, I can have a pillow fight without anyone getting hurt. Granted, sometimes our boundaries might require more reinforcements, that's when it's best to cut ties with those energy vampires and unsatisfactory relationships. It’s ok. Truly it is. When one door closes another one opens. And besides, as people shift and you do, often relationships shift for the better.

🌺 Big Love and Aloha

🥰 A Dose of Positivity

Aloha Beautiful Souls 🌺

Join us for a weekly uplifting discussion every Thursday at 1 pm Hawaii time, 4 pm PST, 7 pm EST.

Next week, we'll talk about how relationshifts are part of life and some ways how to shift with them 🙌

Alan Cohen, M.A., is the author of 28 popular inspirational books, including the best-selling The Dragon Doesn’t Live Here Anymore, the award-winning A Deep Breath of Life, and the classic Are You as Happy as Your Dog?

He is a contributing writer for the New York Times #1 bestselling series Chicken Soup for the Soul, and his books have been translated into 25 foreign languages.

His work has been featured on Oprah.com and in USA Today, The Washington Post and 101 Top Experts.

Alan’s radio program Get Real is broadcast weekly on Hay House Radio, and his monthly column From the Heart is featured in magazines internationally.

Check out his website: https://www.alancohen.com/

Here's the Zoom link: https://bit.ly/3OMC0hs

See you soon! 💕